5 things to do to prepare for Dark Knight Rises

Ok so this is a quick guide of 5 things you should do to properly prepare for the biggest movie of the year – Dark Knight Rises.

1. Watch Batman Begins & The Dark Knight…and Warrior

This one is an obvious one. Watch the first 2 movies again and get familiar with the characters. Know who Ra’s Al Ghul is from the first movie, what role he plays in Batman’s life and what happened to him since Liem Neeson is credited to be in this movie. You dont want to be that dumbcunt in the cinema who is like “Oh shit its that dude from Taken! Shit just got real.” Shit got real a long time ago son and hes not the main badass in this movie. DKR takes place 6 years after TDK so its worth knowing how The Dark Knight ended and how Gotham views Batman and where the movie picks up. The first movie was based on the primary emotion – Fear. The second is Chaos. Not sure what the theme is in this final movie. Also if you have time watch Warrior to see Tom Hardy the actor playing Bane at his physical peak. You will be able to grasp how powerful the villain he portrays is and how he was able to break Batman’s back (More on this in the next point.) It’ll also please the wifey seeing him with his shirt off so she doesnt bug you during the movie. Whatever you do though steer away “This means War” not only cos your friends will call you a bitch but it’ll also tarnish the image of who Bane is.

2. Read The Knightfall TPB

Back before 92-93 when n*ggas didnt give a damn about Warren G (or Tommy Le for that matter) – a graphic novel called Knightfall was published. Back then I was down with only Marvel and I was fiercely loyal. I wouldnt even wander over to the DC section of the comic store. My brother brought home the Knightfall TPB that he borrowed from his friend and since I had nothing to read in the toilet I picked it up and it is the TPB that got me into Batman. The story of Knightfall is about Bane not only being a physically powerful villain with the aid of a drug called Venom, but also one of Batman’s most smartest villains. Instead of going straight in like a dumbkient and getting bested by Batman cos that motherfucker thinks of everything, he strategically planned out Batman’s downfall. He broke out the inmates of Arkham Asylum and set it up so Batman would fight villains non-stop starting from the not so deadly all the way to the Joker. So for like a week straight Batman was going around rounding up these villains with no sleep, and not knowing Bane was watching him and was behind all of this. When Batman captured the final inmate he was mentally and physically exhausted and since Bane knew his true identity, he waited for Batman to come back to the Manor and thats when shit went down. Bane easily defeated the weakened Batman and to humiliate him, he broke his back. Literally. Like snapped his vertebrae and shiet, not pulled his pants down and “brokebacked” him. But yeah the story arc is the best depiction of Bane as an intelligent and powerful villain and why its exciting to see how Nolan will interpret him. Even from a story standpoint its an amazing read so check it out.

Bane giving Batman some brokeback

3. Get a job so you can afford to watch it in IMAX

Being Asian size doesnt matter… I like to watch movies how theyre intended to be watched. Chris Nolan filmed approximately an hour of the total 2hr 50min movie with an IMAX camera and so its worth seeing this in an IMAX theatre. This will probably be the second time Im going to IMAX and man I forgot that ticket prices are $31! Shiet homie that could feed a young boy in Thailand with money left over for him to suc….go to school. So yeah if you’re planning to go to IMAX, start saving or else find yourself a job!

4. Get your hearing checked

Not only is it bad enough that Christian Bale sounds like he’s got lung cancer as Batman, but Bane will be just as difficult to understand since he’ll be wearing a breathing apparatus for the majority of the movie. Plus to make matters worse he’s got a Pommy accent. So make sure you get your hearing checked before the movie or else you better quickly fly your ass to the Philippines and watch that shit with subtitles.

5. Go on a Media Blackout until you see the movie

This is what Ill be doing as of Wednesday midnight. Im gonna be avoiding Facebook, Twitter, news and any form of human interaction if it means theres a chance of someone David Letterman-ing my ass. For those of you who dont know David Lettterman basically revealed the ending of the movie on the Late Show while interviewing Anne Hathaway. Ive had so many quality movies and shows ruined for me – The Sixth Sense, Marley & Me, Fight Club, Project Runway and the list goes on. Ive waited too long to watch this movie and I wanna experience every surprise and twist it throws at me and I dont want no fool on Facebook that I dont even know to update his status with shit like “So did that guy from Taken snap Batman’s neck like a BAWSE? I dont get it.” Fuck it.

So yeah thats a quick guide Ive just written up before dinner. Hope you guys enjoy the movie and check back here for a review of the movie. I’ll probably get my homie DJ Sensation from my crew Dirty Dex to special guest and write that shit cos after my Spider-Man thesis I just wanna point form everything these days. And that my friends is my 5 things to do to prepare for DKR!

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2 Responses to 5 things to do to prepare for Dark Knight Rises

  1. Anish Nair says:

    I won 2 tickets for Dark Knight Rises’s preview a day before its release. Gonna be the first to watch it maybe. The experience would be Legendary!

  2. aceability says:

    Oh man you lucky bastard! Im watching it on Sunday. Thats a long Media Blackout for me

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