A male’s guide on how to buy a diamond ring

When I decided to end my life and propose to When I decided to make the best decision of my life and propose to my girlfriend I was thankful for one thing – she wanted to choose her own ring. Im so glad that was the case because if buying a ring was anything like how I dress myself, then the ring would be wearing a small grey Dickies hoodie and a comic shirt 24/7. It’s alot of money to spend and after a month of ring shopping I’ve realised a diamond ring is very unique to each girl and so unless you can do some mad Inception shit and plant $50 rings in her head, its best to let her choose. However if you look like Shrek, dont have any creative way to propose and she’s only with you for your dollar bills and you wanna impress her with a ring, then here’s my top 5 tips on how to buy a diamond ring. This is from my perspective and experiences cos Im sure theres some casual Goldmark workers out there that are experts who can/will correct me.

I know I know Im awesome

1. Stick to your budget

Generally the rule of thumb is the ring should be approximately 3mths of your pay which is about right. Just dont try to do what I do and be unemployed 3 mths before you propose cos it doesnt work. They take last year’s tax returns, factor in your DJ pay and the money you steal every week from the tip plate at Bamboo and they work it out from there. Just make sure you have a budget in mind and stick to it because you can easily get carried away. Im the type that hates shopping and so the first day of ring shopping we saw a ring we liked that was $5k over the budget and I was like yeah just throw it in the bag and lets go Superbowl. Luckily my fiance had more sense than my dollars and said it was a waste of money and we should look around. It was only after I left the store did I realise that $5k is alot of strippers for the bucks. Remember the ring is only the first step and you still have the wedding to pay for so unless its a Green Lantern ring, make sure you stick to budget!

2. Buying retail isnt always the best

And most times it isnt. You can buy a diamond from a wholesaler and get it set for almost half the price. And also the good thing is you have more of a range of diamonds to choose from where as the retailers only have a small amount. Its good to go to retail stores to get an idea of what you want and then getting it custom made. By custom making your ring not only are you saving, but its unique to you. Also the diamond selecting process becomes very personal and you do kind of grow an attachment to it because its like customizing your avatar in a RPG. There’s different attributes that you can ask for depending on your budget. These attributes are discussed in the next tip.

3. KNOW your 4 C’s

Try to forget about the 5 D’s of dodgeball for a moment and try to focus here on the 4 C’s of diamonds cos this is important especially to you guys. Before I went diamond shopping the only things I knew about diamonds was from a Kanye West song, so obviously shit all. Fortunately for me and my partner we were given a crash course in diamonds which gave us a better understanding of what to look out for. To all those who dont know, the 4 C’s are – Cut, Colour, Clarity and Carat. Obviously different people place different emphasis on what’s important to them but I believe that the order should be what I listed. Ill give a quick run down on what each category is and why I believe its important.

Cut – You want a diamond that sparkles and the cut is what makes it sparkle. The more cuts it has and the more sharper the cuts, the more light that gets in and reflects around. You want a diamond that people can be like “Did a speed camera just flash me or was that your ring. Goddamn homie.” The way it was explained to us was you can pay more for chicken pieces at Rose Bay and pay less down West, they may both weigh the same but the Rose Bay chicken would have less skin and be better quality. Same goes with the cut. The cut is ranked by Excellent, Very Good, Shit, and Ghetto.

Colour – This is how white the diamond is. Obviously the whiter the better. The scale is from D (best) down to N (Im assuming it stands for the derogatory word for African Americans). Anything from H upwards to D is white. The only way you can tell a H from say a G to a  F grade is if you put them next to each other. So H onwards is fine. Anything below H is pretty noticeable. I actually had a look at diamonds which were below H and believe me it looks like someone pissed in it. Its that yellow. They try to jazz it up by calling them “champagne diamonds” but yeah its fully no frills. They occur in nature near the surface and absorb more sun so thats why they’re yellow

Clarity – This is the imperfections and specs in the diamond. It ranges from Flawless to VVS (very very small) to S1 to fucked up. Theres other categories as well like internal flaws, external flaws and other shit but basically what you need to know is that anything from S1 upwards to flawless is not noticeable to the naked eye. And definitely not noticeable if you’re Korean. The international standard of magnification to check out diamonds is 10x and unless you’re carrying one around no one really cares. There’s a feel good factor and a practical factor – like fake tits. You can fork out $15k to make sure its a close to flawless diamond that no one will even notice unless you got the GIA certificate stuck to your forehead or you can be practical and just get a diamond that has no noticeable flaws. Anything below S1 is noticeable.

Carat – Carat is the weight and thats just up to the person. Discussed more in my next tip.

So basically what you want is a sparkling diamond that is as white as you can get it that doesnt have any noticeable flaws and the size depends on you. Its about quality cos you can have a 1 carat ring but it’ll be a piece of shit.

4. Size doesn’t matter

Ironic coming from an asian I know but its true. Some people buy a 1 carat ring just because it sounds ballin’ and it does sound ballin’ but really the difference between a 0.9 carat to a 1 carat is double the price. And the difference in diameter is the size of a pubic hair. Honestly the guy showed us. The difference in diameter that is, not his pubic hair. It also depends on the girl’s hand and what size diamond would look good on it. Sometimes a bigger diamond looks too big on her hand and it just looks too fake.

5. Everything’s negotiable

Walk into every store like its Bing Lee and just haggle the shit out of them. Make them throw in free cleaning, free Ipod charger, their first born anything you can get. Usually you can take off a few hundred off. Remember the goal of all this is to save as much money for your bucks as possible.

And so there it is guys. My guide to buying a diamond ring. Its as practical as I can make it. So be smart about buying a diamond ring so you can count your money at the end so you can count it at your bucks. Till next time – count it!

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My thoughts on Inception

OK I’ve hit 48hrs with maybe 90mins of sleep so Im pretty fucked up at the moment but my mind is still racing. Maybe cos I was exhausted after dinner and so to make it through the 7:30PM session of Inception, I downed another can of Mother. I swear someone’s gonna find me in my room one day all Heath Ledgered out with Mother cans all around me. Anyway I wanted to briefly write about Inception while Im feeling like I need a totem to distinguish whether I’m dreaming or if its reality.

First off Im not gonna talk too much about the movie cos theres plenty of reviews on the net about it and nerds explaining it on youtube etc. Also because Im going to get special guest reviewer and fellow Dirty Dex member DJ Sensation to do a more indepth review about it since he studies Film so I’ll leave that to him. All I will say about the movie is that its fuckin awesome and you need to pay attention to understand the movie and the different levels. Or do what I did and just go without sleep for a day or so and watch it and it’ll make perfect sense. What I will talk about is some other aspects of the movie and what I found interesting.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Riddler. Fuck yeah!

As soon as the movie started and Leonardo DiCaprio was talking to the Last Samurai guy about training his mind to defend attackers and to set up precautions, the first thing that popped into my head was Grant Morrisson’s Batman. In particular the Batman R.I.P. issues #676-681. To all those who arent comic book geeks, this was a story arc where a group that called themselves the Black Glove tried to invade Bruce Wayne’s mind and pretty much break him. But if you know anything about Batman than you know he’s prepared for anything. I reckon he’s even got a coupla RU486 pills in his utility belt for safe measure. Anyway Batman trained his mind to take on an alter ego or a backup alias in case his Batman persona got jeopardised. Im not saying that Nolan used this idea to make Inception but I really do think that since Nolan is so closely tied in with Batman he would have incorporated some of this into the story.

Also the concept of reality and dreams is used alot in Batman stories especially when it concerns the Scarecrow. There was this one particular comic where Bruce’s parents are alive and he’s living his ideal life and everything is going right for him. He’s just an ordinary rich guy with no problems but he constantly has a niggling feeling that something is wrong. What he found weird was whenever he opened up a book all the words would be scribbles and apparently that only happens in dreams, and obviously that was enough to tip off the greatest detective in the world. He knew that the only way he could wake up from the dream was to simulate a “kick” and so he jumped off a building and woke up to reality to drop Scarecrow on his ass. I reckon Nolan “could’ve” used that idea as well.

I found the idea of music playing just before a kick was going to happen quite clever because we’ve all experienced it. When you hear a police siren while you’re sleeping and it suddenly appears in your dreams or when you hear the toilet flush and you pee your bed. Not that its happened to me……and even if it did fuck you. Its when you hear something in the real world in your dreams and it alerts you to the fact that you’re consciously dreaming. Its called Lucid Dreaming and in fact scientists have been studying this for a while. When we dream our eyelids move at a certain REM (Rapid Eye Movement) and scientists have developed glasses you can wear that blinks a blue light when your REM reaches dream state. So in your dream when you see the blue light you know its a dream and you can manipulate your dream to do whatever you want. Which in everyone’s case is to be me.

On a final note before I pass out, if the rumours are true and Chris Nolan does cast Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Riddler than he’s a freakin genius. Cos I can so picture him playing the part. I cant picture Eddie Murphy who’s also in the running for the role cos not only is the Riddler not black (didnt stop Marvel from casting Kingpin) but Eddie’s laugh would remind me too much of Donkey from Shrek. I reckon Eddie Murphy would undo all of Nolan’s great work and turn Batman into a comedy like what Clooney did. Also Ive been a big fan of Joseph since 3rd Rock from the Sun and not only cos he had nice silky long hair either, but after watching 500 Days of Summer. you know the kid can act.

Anyway thats my 2c and also if you want to save money at the cinemas, book your tickets online and just buy student tix. No one checks. Til next time, count it!

Posted in Comics, Movies | 3 Comments

Vanity @ Verandah (Saturdays) – The review

I shouldn’t of had that can of Red Bull on top of that can of Mother on top of that free Michel’s Patisserie coffee. Now I cant sleep. And there’s still another 15 cans of Mother left in my room. Damn you 7-Eleven and your 1 dollar day! I figured since Im up I may as well review tonight’s club. My friend Scottie actually told me to review his club and I told him to fuck off cos aceability is an independent and unbiased website which serves the needs of the community and will not be swayed by corporate endorsements. And so after he gave me a free drink card and flashed me a smile I agreed to write a review. I mean how can you resist that? For anyone who hasn’t met Scottie just picture Channing Tatum from Step Up, Brad Pitt from Troy and Daniel Craig from Bond and he’s nothing like any of them.

Anyway so tonight was a special night at Vanity @ Verandah Bar. Justice Crew – the winners of Australia’s Got Talent were performing and since they have a strong following, I knew it was going to be a busy night and as with most things I was right. I stood in the long line freezing my ass off as database girls hounded me to sign up while guys were on their cell phones trying to call someone that knows someone to get them in. I felt like the biggest loser…….just playin’. I was just trying to picture myself as one of the commoners as I walked past the line and straight into the club cos Im awesome. The thing you should know about me is I hate lining up for anything. I wont even line up for Yum Cha. I carry around a book of raffle tickets and whenever they call a number, I rip it out of my book and hand it over. It also works at charity giveaways but lets not abuse our power now.

The club was pumping and the DJ was warming up the crowd for my favourite DJ who was going to jump behind the dex. After what felt like an eternity he finally got behind the wheels of steel to the thunderous applause and cheers of the crowd. He looked so awesome in his Kikstyo shirt that he paid $90 for in Japan and his red hoodie reppin’ his crew that can be purchased at www.facebook.com/dirtydexcrew for the low price of $50 excluding P&H. From the very start he commanded the attention of the room as he seamlessly mixed in party favourites with new hits with every song hitting home. As I stood there, I mean as HE stood there mixing in the songs all I could think about was “I hope I dont fuck up when to press play for the Justice crew.” You’d think that after pressing play for the Jabbawockeez in front of 2000+ people I would’ve overcome my fear by now but I havent. Its like when you were back at school and you were chosen as the person who rang the bell for lunch. You get nervous cos you dont wanna fuck it up. “What if I ring the bell for too long?” “What if the bell doesnt ring at all and no one ever has lunch?” Pressing that one button becomes a real burden. However when the Justice Crew came on, the musical timing was impeccable and the performance was pulled off brilliantly and the team established why they are Australia’s premier dancing crews. Though everyone was amazed by the performance, it was the DJ’s ability to press play that was truly the highlight of the night. People were patting him on the back and I think I even saw him re-enact the moment he pressed play in slow-mo for a fan. A true legend.

The venue was good, the crowd was good and the cloakroom was also good. It was even staffed by DJ Stib – a local celebrity in his rural town of Blacktown and star of the upcoming TV series – “The DJ wants a wife.” Overall it was a good night out whether you’re behind the dex, pretending to be behind the dex or in front of it. It brings back much needed class to clubbing and they even have a media wall you can take a photo in front of so you can feel like a celebrity, even though you lined up for 1hr in the line.

Count it!

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Tonight’s dinner review – 29th July,2010

Com tam bi suon cha aka Pork with Broken rice

This was going to be my first food review for the site and so I wanted to make sure it was somewhere special. I decided to go to the famous Vietnamese restaurant located in Punchbowl known as “My house.” My house is best known for its fusion of ghetto and Viet cooking and boasts 4 Michelin (tyres). A step up from its previous Dunlop tyres.

As I walked into the restaurant there was nobody to take my coat or welcome me in. After a few frustrating mins waiting to be seated I decided to make myself at home and sat at the only table in the restaurant which over looked a playpen. If I didnt know any better I would’ve thought I walked into a childcare center but then again what do you expect from asian restaurants. The menu was fairly limited, in fact there was only one thing on the menu. Luckily for them it was my favourite dish – Com tam bi suon cha otherwise known as number 37 in any reputable Vietnamese restaurant. After waiting a few more mins to be served, I got fed up and decided to serve myself thinking they must have adopted the lazy Korean way of dining which is doing everything your damn self.

I decided since the service was lacking I was going to make the most of the food which was what I did. I plated up 2x marinated pork chops, shredded beef, tomatoes, cucumbers and when I reached for the fried egg I realised there wasnt any. No com tam is complete without a fried egg. I asked the lady who I assumed worked there where the fried eggs were at. Though dressed inappropriately in what seemed to be her pajamas, she seemed like a lovely lady in her mid 50s until she responded to my question with “theres eggs in the fridge, a frying pan under the stove, you know what to do.” I was appalled with the service and her lack of recognition of who I am (Famous international superstar DJ for all those who dont know by now). If it wasnt for the fact that I CBF’d putting on pants and shoes, I would’ve went to Habibs. So I fried my own egg.

Im glad I stayed because after I took my first bite it was heaven. It was reminiscent of when I was young and my mum cooked that dish for me. The tender pork was beautifully marinated and worked well with the coolness of the cucumbers and the tomatoes. The fried egg was cooked to perfection and everything was topped off with the saltiness of nuoc mam (fish sauce) which was balanced out with the broken rice. I’m embarrassed to say I may have pre-ejaculated cos it was that good. The thing that ruined my culinary orgasm was the ambiance and the atmosphere. There were kids running around, the TV was on, and don’t get me started with the state of their toilet. Blergh.

Apart from the service (lack of) and hygiene (Im quite sure the food was prepared on the floor), it was a delicious meal that displayed the best of Vietnamese and ghetto cooking. I will most probably come back again, most likely tomorrow.  And since I dont want to piss off the owners of the place, and because I love my mum so much – I give it 10/10.

Count it!

Posted in Food | 9 Comments

Dear Zachary – The documentary review

Wow. All I can say is wow. I have not seen a documentary that got me so upset as this one. My friend Ray highly recommended me this doco cos he said it actually made him sad and anything that makes the big Bear sad is good enough for me. I just finished watching it a few mins ago and Im still shook up by it.

The documentary is made by Kurt Kuenne who is an amateur film maker who decided to make this documentary as a homage to his late best friend Dr Andrew Bagby who was murdered by his crazy ex-girlfriend. His crazy ex-girlfriend was 12years his senior and she already had 3 kids of her own and she wasnt a MILF at all and everyone told him that he could do better. The fact that he was an intern at a remote clinic was the main reason why he stayed with the obsessed hoe because he was lonely. Anyway when he finally realised that she was a crazy bitch he broke it off with her. As we all know with crazy bitches, they dont take it lying down. In fact she did more than lay down, she drove 16,000 miles to meet up with him in a park and fragged him (Sorry still got that last review in my head). The bullets used in the shooting was identical to the gun she owned, they had phone records that placed her at the scene of the crime and she was the last person to be seen with him yet they still let her go on bail and she fled the country to Canada. To further rub salt in the vagina, the crazy ex-girlfriend was 4 months pregnant with the man she had just murdered. WHAT THE FUCK?!! I know it sounds like another episode of Desperate Housewives but what made it unbelievable is its a true story.

The baby was born and his name was Zachary. The purpose of the documentary was to find out everything there was to know about Andrew so Zachary would know what kind of person his father was. As the grandparents of Zachary and the parents of his murdered best friend Andrew, they moved to Canada to fight for visitation rights to see their grandson and at the same time fight for extradition of the crazy ex girlfriend to face trial back in the US. The documentary details the frustration they faced as they had to negotiate and compromise with the mother of their grandson and the person who killed their son. Not to mention the frustration that they had to deal with the legal system. This bitch obviously had psychological problems that even Dr Phil couldve diagnosed but she was released on bail over and over again and left with custody of baby Zach. She was unfit as a mother and you could tell she was just using the baby as a bargaining chip and to make the grandparents suffer more than they already have.

There’s a major twist at the end of the documentary that I wont ruin for you but its definitely worth seeing. It makes you angry but at the end of the documentary it does make you feel inspired at the strength of human courage and I do believe there is a lesson to be learnt from this documentary other than dont date crazy old bitches. The only thing I didnt like was the style of directing because at times it felt like everything was thrown in so fast that you didnt know who was who. Also the film maker’s narration didnt seem to suit the documentary. He spoke too fast and sounded alot like Brian from Family Guy. Other than that its definitely worth seeing. I give it 4.5/5.

Count it!

Posted in Movies | 3 Comments

The final dimension revealed!

After months of waiting the final dimension of the latest Spider-Man game has been revealed. It is the Black Spider-Man (I think the correct term is African American) and he joins the other 3 dimensions – Amazing, Noir and 2099. I had a feeling it was going to be this Spidey because honestly there wasnt many other Spideys from other dimensions. Technically however the Black Spidey from the Ultimate comics isnt from another era, its in the same timeline as Amazing but this nerd fact can easily be forgiven because Carnage is going to be in it. And seeing Carnage in the trailer made me squirt more than a Japanese girl on a school bus surrounded by Japanese business men. Im still trying to work out if that’s Deadpool at 0:58 of the trailer cos it sure looks like Deadpool but theres something different about him. I wouldnt be surprised if it was him cos Deadpool is becoming very popular now. He’s got more comic titles than Spider-Man now and he’s appearing in the new Marvel v Capcom 3 and Marvel Alliance game. Even I’ve jumped on his dick and own 3 Deadpool shirts.

Im glad they decided to go with Carnage aka Cletus Kassidy cos he’s very underused in cartoon and games. They always tend to go more for his famous “father” Venom who is cool too but he’s been thrashed more than Annabel Chong. And he reminds me too much of Brock Lesnar. Sometimes you just want some unpredictability, some mindless carnage some crazy motherfucker just going around killing innocent New Yorkers and you want to feel as though only YOU can put an end to it. If you ever read Maximum Carnage you’ll know what I’m talking about. So Im keen to hand Carnage his red ass in this game.

In the past few years Spidey games have been disappointing. You only need to look at the last few titles to know what Im talking about – “Web of Shadows” “Friend or Foe” “The Movie games.” You can be sure to see these titles in the bargain bin a few months after release. They were just too focused on the graphics that the gameplay, the originality and even the voice casting suffered. And one thing that irks me is seeing Spider-Man swing across the city when theres no fuckin buildings in sight. Its like hes flying. Thats why the last Spider-Man game I would consider to be the best would be the 2 on Play Station. You had to have buildings around in order to swing and the dialogue was funny and it truly captured the essence of Spidey. One little gay fact about myself – during the HSC when I was stressed about study I would clear my mind by just swinging around the city in the game because it was free-roaming and cos Im asian and being let out the front door to collect the mail was a priviledge. Come to think of it even Spider-Man and Venom – Maximum Carnage on SNES was awesome.

Shattered Dimensions looks promising though. I think after Arkham Asylum came out, Marvel realised they needed to step up their game. Spider-Man isnt really a dark brooding character like Batman, but by bringing in Noir and Ultimate blackie you do get that contrast against the Amazing and 2099 so it should all be very interesting.

Posted in Comics, Games | 2 Comments

Frag – The documentary review

Ask any kid today what they want to be when they grow up and they’ll tell you either 2 things (well 3 if he’s a fairy) – a pornstar or a pro-gamer. This documentary is about the latter, or is it the former? I always get confused with that. I once tried to be too clever in 3U English (which I think you’re meant to) and I said latter when I meant the first one and it fucked up my whole essay cos the teacher thought I was talking about something entirely different. Anyway this documentary is about pro-gamers.

When I was around 15 I got into Duke Nukem 3D which was the natural progression from Doom and Wolfenstien. I first started playing it with just the arrow keys on the keyboard and the mouse as did most people. I never bothered with strafing, crouching or any of those other things. It was only until I jumped on the net with my dialup modem and read up on it that I realised other players had different styles of playing which in its time was radical.  They were using the W, A, S, D to move and the mouse to look up and down. I didnt even know you could play multiplayer! It was all very exciting to me and when I had my first taste of multiplayer action I was hooked like a Korean to kim chee.

I would say I spent easily over $100 a month on local calls, dialing other players around Australia and challenging them to an online match. I must say I was pretty damn good. My handle was “Fever” cos my skillz were sick *does pose* I even had tactics I came up with like making a hotkey script which said “Fever has been killed” and whenever a player would shoot a rocket into a room that I was in I would press it and he’d think I was dead. When really, I was waiting around the corner to frag his ass! I was pretty good and I would spend maybe 3hrs a day on it. Dad always told me off for it and school got in the way and I always wished that I would get paid to just stay at home and play.

If I could send shit from the future back to the past I would send this doco back to myself and make myself watch it cos it would’ve changed my mind. (Side note: The doco would of course be sent along with other things like my mixcds with a post it note saying “You’re a sikkent – Future Ace.”) Its a good insight to the life of a pro-gamer and dismisses the notion that its all fun and games. Some of these kids see people like Fatal1ty who is the most successful pro-gamer in the world and want to be like him. Traveling the world, entering tournaments, making over $500K in prize money and sponsorships but the harsh reality is hes one of a very very small few. The majority of pro-gamers have to be in the top 1% of the ladder to make any money from it and even less than that make a sustainable living. So basically you always have to be on top of your game. No pun intended. RIP Big Pun.

It’s a pretty good documentary and it did open my eyes to alot of things I didnt know about competitive gaming, especially the exploitation of gamers. I mean these are kids who enjoy playing games and are offered to be paid to do what they love and they have to make mature decisions about contracts that they dont know anything about. And more often than not theyre left with the shit end of the joystick. Even though you may be owning motherfuckers on a computer screen, in reality companies are owning yo ass. Some of these gamers are left homeless with no income and no family support. Its actually quite sad but it did make me want to install Counter Strike again.

I’m glad that I saw the documentary and I would recommend it to anyone who reckons they can beat a Korean in Starcraft 2. I havent decided on a rating system just yet but for now I give it a 4 out of 5 for the documentary.

Count it!

Posted in Games, Movies | 3 Comments

Welcome everyone

Hello everybody and Raymond.

Welcome to my website. My name is Ace and I will be using this site to review all the things that I’m passionate about which is basically food, games, movies, comics and other shit. Hence the title of this site. I was going to name it “My World 2.0” but Justin Bieber beat me to it.

I’ll try to update this site as much as possible but if I get bored of it as I do with most things, then please don’t get too attached. So sit back and enjoy. I will be posting my first review shortly.

Posted in Other shit | 3 Comments